Abstract | Demogorgons, monsters, and mythical creatures do not appear only in Soviet research labs, secretive government facilities or just plain Hawkins, Indiana. They frequently cross-over to earthquake engineering in the form of questions that conform to the paradigm of “Does X matter in seismic response?”. X can be a seismological characteristic, such as duration, vertical component, incident angle, or near-field directivity; it can also be a structural property, such as building period, rocking block size, or plan asymmetry. We, as investigative structural engineers, are vastly more familiar with the latter set of queries and we are clearly better equipped to handle them. We can sometimes even provide definitive answers that most, if not all of us, would agree upon. Instead, questions involving seismological characteristics seem to leave us baffled and stuck in an Upside Down world that resembles structural engineering but is not exactly the same. Wading through its murk, it is good to have some investigative tools and processes that will help us find our way home. In the end, though, we may end up equal parts enlightened and confused, as most questions of whether something of the seismologist world matters for the structural one are nearly-universally answered by uttering “It depends”.